Lessons From My 60-Year Old Mother

I went on Skype with Nanay (mother) after her "surprise"* birthday celebration the other day. She was so happy - a picture of a content woman at 60 because of all the recognition, affirmation, gratitude and love that she received that day. She told me that this was one of the only two "birthday parties" she ever had in her entire life. (She usually stops us whenever we organize a party for her because she thinks it's a waste of money.)

Nanay started in life with so much hardships and she often feels regretful for not being able to do more. She's also not as affectionate as Tatay (father) because her life circumstances shaped her to exhibit toughness and independence. But Nanay dreamt anyway. Nanay loved anyway - in ways she knows how.

Nanay is self-sacrificial. She thinks of others first before herself. She even decided to give the money that was supposed to be used for her birthday party last Sunday to a relative who was recently widowed and has a sick son. She cares a lot - too much that it often feels that she's meddling in other people's lives. But she can't help it.

And this Sunday culminated all the inconveniences, hurts, awkwardness, misunderstandings and all the negativities that come with loving others. Amazingly, however, what she experienced on her birthday party was anything but that. That is what the love of God can do to a person.

Because really, with all that Nanay had gone through, I am in awe at her ability to love nevertheless. And I know, she knows - she tells me that a lot - that it is the love of God that compels her. All these messages from family, relatives, friends, and the church confirm an irrefutable truth that has been shouting at me for the last two years now: Love wins.

Nanay may not have much money nor the prestige or position a woman of her skills and wit can achieve. Her children are neither perfect. Although there's nothing wrong with having much money, prestige, beautiful children. It would be awesome to have the best things in life and be loved by those you love as well.

But that time, while I was talking to her, I believe several times, in those 60 years, she had to make a choice. And I am soooo glad she had been choosing well.

And while she may not always choose well (she's not perfect!), she believes anyway. She trusts and hopes for the best anyway. And isn't that what love is all about (1 Corinthians 13)?

Happy 60th birthday, Nanay. Thank you for teaching me the most valuable lesson of all.

Nanay at Kalanggaman Island, Leyte (December 2012)

*My mom has a strong intuitive sense. It's actually difficult to keep secrets from her.