Made for Relationships that Last

It came to a point when marriage becomes unnecessary for me. With so many married couples seeking divorce and those who cannot legally get married solicits recognition through a wedding ceremony, marriage seems to be reduced into another paperwork that has to be done to get through life.

I remember I once told my father, on Skype, that when I get married, my husband and I will have separate bank accounts. This would make it easier for us to part ways just in case our marriage did not work (because I observed that the longest and most difficult part of a divorce case is the settlement of joined properties and assets).

My father was quiet. And I don't like it when he is. He was even smirking at me. So I asked him why he was silent. I pushed him to tell me what he thinks of what I said.

Then in a very careful yet certain manner, that is so typical of him, he said:

"Anak, kasi nung pinakasalan ko yung nanay mo, hindi ko inisip na maghihiwalay kami."
("My child, when I married your mother, being separated from her was never an option.")

I was silent. I realized how selfish and twisted my view of marriage had become.

When God created us, He made us for relationships that last. He created the first man and woman "in His own image" because He desires that they be a reflection of who He is and how He loves. But it's interesting how it's easier for us to say 'I love God' yet it's a struggle for us to show this love to others, especially with those closest to us.

This is most true especially in marriage. Unlike friendships and professional relationships, marriage teaches us how to love in an exclusive, highly committed 'set-up' regardless of the faults and shortcomings of one another. No matter how you want to get rid of your spouse, just like how you would zone someone out in a friendship or at work, you just can't. You are married.

And it's just mind-blowing to realize that God actually designed marriage as a way to prepare us for eternity. He is giving us a glimpse of how committed He is in loving us. He doesn't love only when things are convenient and profitable.

Made to last. 06 September 2015.

As my parents celebrated their 35th wedding anniversary, I have a deeper appreciation of the enormous courage and hard work they have put into their marriage to reach that far. My parents - two mere mortals who fell in love (hehe) - are far from being perfect. But they have always believed in God's purpose for marriage. I pray I could honor them by having the faith to do the same.